Eli Manning: It's Always Raining in My Mind

by Nick Takach

With a 'ho-hum' and a 'aw shucks,' Eli Manning led the New York Giants to a devastating 42-10 loss to the Adrian Peterson-less Minnesota Vikings at Giants Stadium last Sunday.



While only giving up 251 yards to the Vikings offense, the Giants defense was hung out to dry by Manning's four interceptions, three which came back for touchdowns. In fact, the highest scoring unit in the game was the Vikings' defense, scoring three touchdowns to their offense’s two scores.

In 2007, Eli's fourth year out of Ole Miss University (voted #4 in the top ten most hick schools ever), he has yet to turn into the awesome miniature version of his older brother that he has always wanted to be.

Combining excellent bursts with inconsistent throws, Eli has never really endeared himself to the rabid Giants fans.

It's wondrous as to why he chose Gotham City over San Diego, which means "Our Diego" in Spanish.

Going into the ‘03 draft, many national pundits thought he would eventually become even greater than Manning… I mean Peyton. While at Ole Miss, he threw 81 touchdowns for well over 10,000 yards with only 35 interceptions while placing third in the Heisman vote.

Doing that, he actually made Ole Miss University respectable (in football, not in real life). In 2003 he took them to a #16 ranking and a Cotton Bowl win over Oklahoma State, then ranked #21.

During his professional career, he has taken the Giants to two playoff games, losing 24-21 to the Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field in last year's opening round. In fact, his stats at the pro level don't come close to holding any water when compared to his college stats. As a Giant, Eli has thrown 70 touchdowns and 59 interceptions for 10,425 yards.

What’s really missing from Eli’s repertoire is the arc that his brother’s career had. While Peyton’s first years as a pro were filled with almost as many interceptions as touchdowns, he always had the attitude and the arm to play as a high-level quarterback in the NFL.

Eli’s arm looks more suited for channel changing than game changing. That look on his face ain’t gonna help him either.

Maybe instead of trying to be as good as his brother, which seems impossible, he could aim to be as good as his father, Archie Manning, who was only a semi-legend on a horrible New Orleans team. Archie only looks sad now because his one son is a ninny.

Well, since anyone who is reading this hopefully likes the hometown Eagles, don’t you kind of hope that he sucks? I know I hope that he plays inconsistent for the next 10 years in the Big Rotten Apple.

We should all rejoice in the fact that we only have to deal with the worst Manning quarterback.