The biggest surprise of the Mitchell Report – only two

by Goose

Forget the debate about what the sport should do about steroids – that’s for Around the Horn and PTI to discuss for the next eleventy months. I really think the biggest shock of the Mitchell Report is the spirit of the ’93 Phillies can remain intact.


Lenny Dykstra was one of only two Phils from the '93 N.L. Champs squad mentioned in the Mitchell Report. To many, the fact that Tobacco King was doing the 'roids was breaking news 20 years ago.

You know, that lovable bunch of misfits that caught lightning in a bottle that one year to take the city on a ride all the way to the World Series. For years people have thought that “lightning” was created artificially and injected into the majority of that lineup's behinds. And now, here comes a report saying that, aside from Dykstra and Todd Pratt, the 1993 Phillies were clean.

Really? Well, that’s cool with me, since I loved that team about the same as sex. But the fact alone that Pete Incaviglia wasn’t named renders the report useless. I mean, c’mon. I once saw him hit a ball off the top of the foul pole at the vet. I was shocked it didn’t go through the foul pole at that point. It wasn’t still traveling up when it hit; it was traveling straight. That thing would have killed a human had it hit one. Not that this anecdote is proof positive that he took steroids, but can you tell me where he went after that magical season? What happened to him?

Dykstra, Daulton, Inky, Pratt, Danny Jackson, Wes Chamberlain, Dave Hollins…all clean. Dave Hollins? The man who had a nickname Mikey, because he acted like a serial killer. And now we can infer that he was on nothing more than V-8 to keep his edge.

Look, my point isn’t that these guys were on steroids, because I don’t know. My point is that the Mitchell Report is a $20 million joke that did nothing to stop players from taking steroids. Dykstra, if anything, was a scapegoat; a player that people knew was on steroids and could be listed in the report because it was already common knowledge. And that’s what was wrong with this whole thing. Based on testimonies from a few people, we get a sparse list of names that have been in the press for a while. Sure Clemens and Pettite included in this was a bit of a mild shock, but honestly, you can go back to 2006 to find suspicions about both of them.

In perusing the report (full disclosure: I didn’t read the whole thing. I mean, did you see it? Hey Mitchell, ever hear of Microsoft Word? A little thing called color? C’mon), it seemed to me that baseball just spent $20 million to talk to a former Mets’ clubhouse attendant and to read Game of Shadows. I would have done that for $89. And I would have made the report a little easier on the eyes.

So, while I’m glad that my memories of the ’93 Phillies can remain somewhat pure for the time being, I am disappointed by the lack of meat this silly little report gave us. But then again, who really thought Selig would pay for an unbiased report that had the potential to sink his sport? But that conspiracy is for another time.